Okay. I'm being blanked. Officially. Well, okay, not officially, but I'm not quite sure why someone is ignoring me. Which, I suppose, is also a lie. I know exactly why they're ignoring me, if they are indeed deciding to ignore me, but I'm not going to tell all of you.You can think of some reasons yourself. Anyway, to move onto the point, to provide a break from the monotony of quotes, I thought that I'd mention something about a friend of mine.
He's called Phatang, at least he is online. I know him in real life and he's practically famous. He casually throws off the fact that he's talking to 'some american fans' and that 'Phatang and I are as different as any other two people.' I can see his point. Web identities and real identities tend to diverge slightly. Your real identity is not always public knowledge, nor is it particulary important to most sensible people. Web identities, however, begin to breathe a life of their own.
I, mediaboy, had a scary moment a few years back when I wandered into a chat room and was greeted by a chorus of 'hello mediaboy!' from about hundred or so people, all of whom had heard of me somehow. Apparently they remembered me from nearly five years ago, which was last time I'd played that game, and the legend of mediaboy and the legacy I left behind (a company that had monopolized the ingame industry) still bore my name. Would have cost me an absolute fortune to buy back off of the owner though. It had grown considerably. Not that I'm complaining mind.. I like my name to be publicised. It saves on saying the same things over and over. Mediaboy is almost certainly more famous than Stephen, and I think that Phatang is probably better known than his real life counterpart.
Anyway, just before I logged off of my MSN tonight, I was talking to him and I asked him to throw a philosophical question at me for me to answer. I didn't really get a question. I got a statement. But what am I complaining about? It's philosophical, or thoughtful, enough that I can write some ramblings about it. Which - if you remember from all the way back in September - was the original point of these. Somewhere to provide ranting and raving that let me express and order my thoughts so that my long-suffering friends didn't have to hear them all but could read them at their own pleasure... or displeasure, depending on how you look at it. To continue however:
For something to get better, it must first get worse.
There is, as always, several ways of looking at this. You can accept it, disagree with it, or partly agree with it. And there's probably some other possibilities as well, such as not giving a damn, but you're not allowed to choose that whilst I'm asking. Unless I really don't care about your opinion or give up on getting a proper answer. My take on it is fairly simple.. as my things go.
First, if something is better then there must be a something for it to be getting better from. A level of regard, or emotional status, or whatever, which is lower than the level to which it is risen.
Secondly, if something is worse then there must be a level for it to have sinked from.
Because of this, I suppose that the statement cannot really be wrong. Given enough time, most things eventually return to the state which they were first in. Humans eventually revert to childhood, even becoming incapable of looking after themselves. Metals will tend to degrade in time, returning to the earth where they came. The entirity of life is just one endless circle, which (if you think about it a little) means that everything you do in the first 31.4 years of your life will be done by someone else in 10. So everything returns to normality.
Therefore, if something drops below normality then relative to the something, it can only get better so anything - even a reversal back to the original level - is still an improvement. As long as we take better/worse to be relative to the thing that is changing level and do not have a fixed reference point for the comparison then arguably, and logically, once something has gone so far down it can only get better. When something gets so bad, anything is an improvement. Which is cliched to death and back, but doesn't necessarily make it any worse.
Of course, what we believe to be the worst possible scenario often isn't. With typical human falibility, what we believe to be the worst scenario is in fact something slightly less drastic. There's always another bad thing to happen to you should you look far enough. I mean... you can have a bad hair day, get dumped, rejected by all your friends, beaten up, mugged, have every penny stolen, become an orphan and an only child all within the same 24 hours. But it doesn't mean that the world has blown up yet. To you, the situation may not be able to get worse. To everyone else, who doesn't understand - people never do - you're overstating the situation.
And no, I don't know anyone unlucky enough to have that happen to them. And I would question whether or not the friends and significant other were worth it if they cleansed themselves of you on the same day as the rest of it. It's a bit harsh really.
Naturally, we're taking the 'worst' situation as the worst likely situation to happen. There's always something, but for the most part we can discount these. So to return from the tangent, once something has reached a level where there appears to be no levels below it to sink to, if you improve it in anyway, it gets better. So, therefore, something which has first gotten worse has now got better.
A fixed point relativity however, is probably not quite so easy to prove or disprove. Many people would agree with the sentiment even if for something to be classed as getting better it means it has to improve over the original situation. Why? Because when a situation is bad, anything good that happens is multiplied tenfold, if only that. A good thing happening to you makes you feel a lot better about yourself and the bad situation seem less hopeless. Good things have a greater effect when you are down, similarly to bad things having a huge effect in the case of you being happy about something.
Putting all of the relativity aside for the moment, to say that something MUST happen for another thing to happen creates an infallible Laws that disproves itself should it ever be broken once. Laws (with a capital L) are unbreakable when talking about things such as this. Otherwise they're just rules, or guidelines. In the end, my opinion is that the statement is inherently flawed in presuming that a law exists without any concrete evidence to prove so. However, I do admit that how good something gets is down to personal opinion and therefore is entirely up to you.
Happy now Phatang?
You'd better be! If not then oh well. I'll explain better to you, where I don't need to avoid mentioning situations for fear of too many correct conclusions being drawn about me.
Saturday, 7 March 2009
5th March: Well that was a let down.
After all my worries about today, nothing happened. That's life for you. So it's time to go back and finish off the job of giving you all the thoughts and quotes that are sitting on my desktop staring at me everytime I log on.
'If life is getting you down, find a friend.'
Friends help you through the worst of things, celebrate with you through the best of things. How can you have something fun and enjoyable to the same extent if you don't have a friend with whom to share it? People you can trust, all 5 of you now (for me, at any rate. The number slowly grows. Always good I guess.), are those whom you don' t need to worry about. Less stress for you, which is always good. Besides.. friends are nice. That's why they're your friends! And Gina, if you read yesterdays (unlikely) then well done for not making it so that you can't look towards me. Not that you'd want to mind.
'Never say anything you'll need to unsay because by the time you come to unsay it it'll be too late.'
Have you ever said something and then immediately thought 'oh shit' or 'whoops' or 'I'm going to regret that' or anything of that kind? I'm betting you have. I do it quite a lot. Not as much as I used to, but still a fair amount. It comes of not thinking in the same way as everyone else. Wheras I see a different side to everyone else and appreciate the funny side of life, not everyone appreciates it as well, often leading to their disappreciation of me. Which, debatably, isn't always exactly bad.
But this aside, you can never unsay things that have been said. People have a tendency to remember small details, or large details, that you don't want them to remember. Anything that they're supposed to remember, they forget. That's life for you I guess. The same goes for actions, don't do anything that you'll then wish you hadn't done. Although actions are easier to mend, the consequences of those actions are not.
I still remember some people's actions towards me from years ago. It reflects in how I treat those people. It doesn't always totally reflect it though. There is a difference between my remembering something and therefore thinking of someone, and how I treat them. Being far too much a man of my word has it's problems.
'Respect mixes with friendship, which mixes with love. Where do you draw the lines? Anyone got a piece of paper?'
Scrap pieces of paper. Look at the actual thing. For those that also have teenage hormones running rampage through their bodies on a psychotic task of utter confusion, you'll perhaps appreciate the sentiment. For me, as a boy, girls confuse me. Their actions make little sense to me (not that boys' actions are always that logical), their mindsets make even less sense and predicting them is something that you'll need more than just poor old me to do.
There's girls that I respect, for who they are, for what they are. Tara, for instance, who's the other decent piano player (there's also a keyboard player, but he's not a proper piano player... he's a proper keyboard player!) at my college, is respected firstly because of a certain Mr.Ben Hinton, who speaks extremely well of her for reasons of his own that everyone knows, and secondly because she's a piano player. And she plays very well. Even if she does spend all her time in a panic attack thinking that her remarkable talents and intelligence aren't actually all that great and that everyone else is better. Maybe I should tell her to go into some competitions and kick ass. It'd give me some competitions to avoid I suppose.
There's also girls that I'm friends with, through respect or through mutual interests or simply because I started talking to them for some reason.. anything from because they were talking about something interesting to them being involved in a group that I knew someone in. People like Anna, whom I'm fairly good friends with. Certainly the relationship goes no further than that, even though if I listen to certain people she would like it to. I ignore the rumours though... most of them are wrong. Otherwise I'd fancy fourteen girls, two boys and want to have two threesomes and about six orgies. As it is, none of them are right at the moment. At the moment.
Then there's girls that I begin to wonder if they cross that final line. Where is that line between exceedingly good friend and 'exceedingly good friend with a wish from me to extend the relationship further?' (As in.. go out with them) for those that didn't understand the complicated version. I'm sure other teenagers will have great fun empathising with this. I mean.. who doesn't get confused about the opposite gender at the tender (or not so tender, depending on the person) age of 15?
'Trust is for those that can't face the flames alone'
Trust. What a wonderful thing. What a great idea. It's great in theory, but in practicality it tends to either backfire or collapse. Trust is hard to sustain. It's certainly hard to willingly sustain explicitly. Implicitly trusting someone, presuming that they will support you or whatever, is simple enough. It's not particulary hard nor thoughful to do so. I do that all the time.
What IS harder is the trust that so many people magnificantly fail to achieve from me. It's like keeping sweets from children really. Serves no real useful purpose.
I shall continue this tomorrow.
Night night!
Let the nice bed bugs bite!
And you really had to be there to understand that one.
'If life is getting you down, find a friend.'
Friends help you through the worst of things, celebrate with you through the best of things. How can you have something fun and enjoyable to the same extent if you don't have a friend with whom to share it? People you can trust, all 5 of you now (for me, at any rate. The number slowly grows. Always good I guess.), are those whom you don' t need to worry about. Less stress for you, which is always good. Besides.. friends are nice. That's why they're your friends! And Gina, if you read yesterdays (unlikely) then well done for not making it so that you can't look towards me. Not that you'd want to mind.
'Never say anything you'll need to unsay because by the time you come to unsay it it'll be too late.'
Have you ever said something and then immediately thought 'oh shit' or 'whoops' or 'I'm going to regret that' or anything of that kind? I'm betting you have. I do it quite a lot. Not as much as I used to, but still a fair amount. It comes of not thinking in the same way as everyone else. Wheras I see a different side to everyone else and appreciate the funny side of life, not everyone appreciates it as well, often leading to their disappreciation of me. Which, debatably, isn't always exactly bad.
But this aside, you can never unsay things that have been said. People have a tendency to remember small details, or large details, that you don't want them to remember. Anything that they're supposed to remember, they forget. That's life for you I guess. The same goes for actions, don't do anything that you'll then wish you hadn't done. Although actions are easier to mend, the consequences of those actions are not.
I still remember some people's actions towards me from years ago. It reflects in how I treat those people. It doesn't always totally reflect it though. There is a difference between my remembering something and therefore thinking of someone, and how I treat them. Being far too much a man of my word has it's problems.
'Respect mixes with friendship, which mixes with love. Where do you draw the lines? Anyone got a piece of paper?'
Scrap pieces of paper. Look at the actual thing. For those that also have teenage hormones running rampage through their bodies on a psychotic task of utter confusion, you'll perhaps appreciate the sentiment. For me, as a boy, girls confuse me. Their actions make little sense to me (not that boys' actions are always that logical), their mindsets make even less sense and predicting them is something that you'll need more than just poor old me to do.
There's girls that I respect, for who they are, for what they are. Tara, for instance, who's the other decent piano player (there's also a keyboard player, but he's not a proper piano player... he's a proper keyboard player!) at my college, is respected firstly because of a certain Mr.Ben Hinton, who speaks extremely well of her for reasons of his own that everyone knows, and secondly because she's a piano player. And she plays very well. Even if she does spend all her time in a panic attack thinking that her remarkable talents and intelligence aren't actually all that great and that everyone else is better. Maybe I should tell her to go into some competitions and kick ass. It'd give me some competitions to avoid I suppose.
There's also girls that I'm friends with, through respect or through mutual interests or simply because I started talking to them for some reason.. anything from because they were talking about something interesting to them being involved in a group that I knew someone in. People like Anna, whom I'm fairly good friends with. Certainly the relationship goes no further than that, even though if I listen to certain people she would like it to. I ignore the rumours though... most of them are wrong. Otherwise I'd fancy fourteen girls, two boys and want to have two threesomes and about six orgies. As it is, none of them are right at the moment. At the moment.
Then there's girls that I begin to wonder if they cross that final line. Where is that line between exceedingly good friend and 'exceedingly good friend with a wish from me to extend the relationship further?' (As in.. go out with them) for those that didn't understand the complicated version. I'm sure other teenagers will have great fun empathising with this. I mean.. who doesn't get confused about the opposite gender at the tender (or not so tender, depending on the person) age of 15?
'Trust is for those that can't face the flames alone'
Trust. What a wonderful thing. What a great idea. It's great in theory, but in practicality it tends to either backfire or collapse. Trust is hard to sustain. It's certainly hard to willingly sustain explicitly. Implicitly trusting someone, presuming that they will support you or whatever, is simple enough. It's not particulary hard nor thoughful to do so. I do that all the time.
What IS harder is the trust that so many people magnificantly fail to achieve from me. It's like keeping sweets from children really. Serves no real useful purpose.
I shall continue this tomorrow.
Night night!
Let the nice bed bugs bite!
And you really had to be there to understand that one.
4th March: Lets Rock! Lets Roll!
I just made a new desktop background. It's got lots of quotes. Some are original.. some aren't. Anyway.. today's blog is going through them all and explaining them. Hehe.
'If you think you have a problem, you have a problem. Now tell me what it is...'
This is something that I said to a friend of mine. They weren't sure whether or not they had a problem, or at least whether or not to tell me their problem. Which, in itself, is another problem. The first step to doing something about a problem is admit the problem exists. Then you share the problem with someone. Generally me if you're one of those that gets this said to you. Then you go and do whatever you need to do.
Yes.. I used to say it a fair bit. I knew far too many people's problems for their own good. Probably because I welcomed them and had some sort of trust. In the sense that I wouldn't spread the problem beyond myself unless it was going to harm them or harm me. And even then it'd take time to convince me.
'I don't need the dough. I'm not a baker. I need proper money!'
A quote in response to the 'I knead the dough' pun/play on words that often comes up. Dough meaning money, 'knead' and 'need' being homophones and a baker saying it because bakers 'knead the dough' to make bread, in both the literal and metaphorical/homophonic sense.
'Music is life. Life is music. Unforntunately music is also emotion. Emotion is sometimes death. Therefore music is death'
Live through the music, die through the music. Music is always there, always part of life and existence for me. I listen to music as I sleep, as I wake. I write it, I play it, I sing it, I evaluate it. I hate it, I love it. Music is more important than many other things to me. Just not important enough, unforntunately enough.
'Remember the good times'
Self-explanatory. Not my quote this one. I stole it off of Grace. Thank you for the memories it brought Grace. I needed them, the bittersweetness hurt but it wasn't a nastay hurt.
'Honesty is the best policy, but it doesn't always get you where you want to go. It's a surefire way to get chucked off a train if you don't have a fare...'
Once again, almost self-exaplanatory. Honesty is always best in the long run. It cures probems, it creates potential and it doesn't make people feel devalued by your lying to them. It's not always the easiest option, or the option that you'd choose. Tonight proved that to me. Tomorrow might possibly prove it more so.
'If life is getting you down, find a friend'
Just don't look towards me if what I think is going to happen does happen and your name is Gina.
I'll explain more tomorrow, if all goes pearshaped.
And I'll finish off the quotes as well. I didn't even get halfway through.
Heh.. that's me for you I guess.
'If you think you have a problem, you have a problem. Now tell me what it is...'
This is something that I said to a friend of mine. They weren't sure whether or not they had a problem, or at least whether or not to tell me their problem. Which, in itself, is another problem. The first step to doing something about a problem is admit the problem exists. Then you share the problem with someone. Generally me if you're one of those that gets this said to you. Then you go and do whatever you need to do.
Yes.. I used to say it a fair bit. I knew far too many people's problems for their own good. Probably because I welcomed them and had some sort of trust. In the sense that I wouldn't spread the problem beyond myself unless it was going to harm them or harm me. And even then it'd take time to convince me.
'I don't need the dough. I'm not a baker. I need proper money!'
A quote in response to the 'I knead the dough' pun/play on words that often comes up. Dough meaning money, 'knead' and 'need' being homophones and a baker saying it because bakers 'knead the dough' to make bread, in both the literal and metaphorical/homophonic sense.
'Music is life. Life is music. Unforntunately music is also emotion. Emotion is sometimes death. Therefore music is death'
Live through the music, die through the music. Music is always there, always part of life and existence for me. I listen to music as I sleep, as I wake. I write it, I play it, I sing it, I evaluate it. I hate it, I love it. Music is more important than many other things to me. Just not important enough, unforntunately enough.
'Remember the good times'
Self-explanatory. Not my quote this one. I stole it off of Grace. Thank you for the memories it brought Grace. I needed them, the bittersweetness hurt but it wasn't a nastay hurt.
'Honesty is the best policy, but it doesn't always get you where you want to go. It's a surefire way to get chucked off a train if you don't have a fare...'
Once again, almost self-exaplanatory. Honesty is always best in the long run. It cures probems, it creates potential and it doesn't make people feel devalued by your lying to them. It's not always the easiest option, or the option that you'd choose. Tonight proved that to me. Tomorrow might possibly prove it more so.
'If life is getting you down, find a friend'
Just don't look towards me if what I think is going to happen does happen and your name is Gina.
I'll explain more tomorrow, if all goes pearshaped.
And I'll finish off the quotes as well. I didn't even get halfway through.
Heh.. that's me for you I guess.
3rd March: The inherent decision
If there is a choice between something you should do and something you want to do what do you choose? Would you always be selfish and choose for something you do for yourself as opposed to the one that you should be doing? Would you always act as you should? The two are not, as some people think, necessarily always black and white. The two, unforntunately enough, are a very simplistic version of the choices that I make daily.
Since October my life has changed rapidly. Setting aside a change in who I'm gunning for and a few other minor changes that are a little too personal to be mentioning in my blog, there's still some other changes that need to be mentioned. Obviously, my friendships have changed. Some have grown, as I've grown to respect them and from the respect has come friendship. Some have shrunk, with a lack of respect or contact meaning that the friendship doesn't last.
Less so obviously, at least if I'm being optimistic, my attitudes have changed. Those who knew me before October will have said that I was vastly irritating most of the time, arrogant, overly self-confident, geeky, somewhere at the bottom of the social tower and so on. Apart from the geeky bit and the social tower bit, I like to think I've changed. I know that I've changed how I act. It may not always be the case, but I see other people's problems a lot more. And I do something to solve them, if I can.
Bullying is simple enough to stop whilst I'm in the way. Having nearly eleven stone of bone and muscle standing between you and a target with intention to stop you from getting there does kind of make you look for an easier target. Or a different one. Even the simple realisation that there is someone that will stand inbetween you and them, irrelevant of who the bully is, makes a large difference.
Other problems aren't quite so easy. Emotional problems tend not to find their way to me. For which, I'm ashamed to say, glad to say doesn't happen overly much. I can manage to provide voices of reason, but small emotional crises like you being upset for not very much will net a little sympathy but also a lot of cold-heartedness. Large emotional crises, like someone dying or the subject of those romantic dreams for the last 3 months saying that he loves you (yes Grace... that's a direct reference to you), tend to find their way to me fairly quickly. Or... if they don't... I find out.
It may sound a little arrogant, but if one of my friends has a problem I find out what it is, one way or another. Or I can have a good guess. I don't want to know everyone of their secrets, nor do I think that I have the right to know them. They don't have the right to know mine, although some of them do - more so than before.. another major change, although one that most people probably wouldn't be aware of.. even if they are the person involved - so I don't think that I deserve theirs. Not that I turn down the opportunity to find out what they are. Natural curiousity plays a role.
I have exams tomorrow, so I'd better sleep. Can't be late you see.
Night Night. I'll finish the line of thought tomorrow.
Since October my life has changed rapidly. Setting aside a change in who I'm gunning for and a few other minor changes that are a little too personal to be mentioning in my blog, there's still some other changes that need to be mentioned. Obviously, my friendships have changed. Some have grown, as I've grown to respect them and from the respect has come friendship. Some have shrunk, with a lack of respect or contact meaning that the friendship doesn't last.
Less so obviously, at least if I'm being optimistic, my attitudes have changed. Those who knew me before October will have said that I was vastly irritating most of the time, arrogant, overly self-confident, geeky, somewhere at the bottom of the social tower and so on. Apart from the geeky bit and the social tower bit, I like to think I've changed. I know that I've changed how I act. It may not always be the case, but I see other people's problems a lot more. And I do something to solve them, if I can.
Bullying is simple enough to stop whilst I'm in the way. Having nearly eleven stone of bone and muscle standing between you and a target with intention to stop you from getting there does kind of make you look for an easier target. Or a different one. Even the simple realisation that there is someone that will stand inbetween you and them, irrelevant of who the bully is, makes a large difference.
Other problems aren't quite so easy. Emotional problems tend not to find their way to me. For which, I'm ashamed to say, glad to say doesn't happen overly much. I can manage to provide voices of reason, but small emotional crises like you being upset for not very much will net a little sympathy but also a lot of cold-heartedness. Large emotional crises, like someone dying or the subject of those romantic dreams for the last 3 months saying that he loves you (yes Grace... that's a direct reference to you), tend to find their way to me fairly quickly. Or... if they don't... I find out.
It may sound a little arrogant, but if one of my friends has a problem I find out what it is, one way or another. Or I can have a good guess. I don't want to know everyone of their secrets, nor do I think that I have the right to know them. They don't have the right to know mine, although some of them do - more so than before.. another major change, although one that most people probably wouldn't be aware of.. even if they are the person involved - so I don't think that I deserve theirs. Not that I turn down the opportunity to find out what they are. Natural curiousity plays a role.
I have exams tomorrow, so I'd better sleep. Can't be late you see.
Night Night. I'll finish the line of thought tomorrow.
28th February: Lesbian Orgy!
I was sitting quite idly on my facebook earlier on when something on my home page caught my eye. It was a comment by some girl saying 'oh yeah.. I remember that now.' or something along those lines. You know the sort of comment where you immediately wonder what they're talking about? It piqued my curiousity so I went and had a look. It appeared to be 5 girls in tangle of arms, legs and heads. You try to work out where all those hands are going and you get lost.
They are, however, fully dressed. Much to a friends disappointment and much to my amusement at his disappointment. I was like 'Just what is happening here?!?' and the immediate (or nearly immediate) response was 'lesbian orgy!' or words to that effect. I was shocked. The person who said it will be pleased... she spent the best part of 2 hours trying to get me to be shocked once. I wasn't particulary shocked at the idea, nor that any of them were claiming to be lesbians (I know that most of them aren't), but rather I was shocked at the idea that they were putting photos of it up on facebook... when none of them have the camera.
Firstly, it means that there's a cameraman.. or camerawoman perhaps. That's just unfair. I wanna play too! Nah, only kidding, I don't. I would hate to disturb their lesbianity with my masculinity. Hehe. So that's six of them.
Secondly, it means that they want the world to know. So I'm telling the world. So now you all know.. I know people who pretend to be lesbians on their day off.. or should that be their night off? If you get what I mean...
I was also watching 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' (courtesy of youtube) which I quite enjoy. I don't know why. The sheer stupidity of it perhaps. Two Line Vocabulary is something that I'd love to do in real life... I might suggest it sometime. It'd be fun and funny and if you have to keep a straight face whilst doing it, probably impossible. And I'd forget my lines, but hey... I do that all the time!
Apparently life is a stage. Or something like that. The one thing I want to know is whose got the script. Telling me who the prompt is would be quite good as well. I tend to forget my lines, especially in the presence of certain people. Or should that be certain girls? Depends on your definition of person I suppose. It may not seem like much, but I sometimes wonder how the scene was supposed to play out had I not forgotten my lines and we hadn't all ended up ab libbing... to really take the metaphor further.
This doubt, this uncertainty, this goddamned confusion is awful. Scrap sleepness nights! It's more like thoughtful existence. And depressing. It's going nowhere, doing nothing and not looking like it's going to change as I regulary put it. People disagree, naturally, but yet again.. they aren't me. Some people see more than others I guess. Mostly girls, bizzarely enough. And I say mostly because there's one boy in the list of people that see more than I intend them to, whilst being correct.
Or he's just being himself and he's accidentally guessing at everything that no one else so far has really guessed at. Thirteen of one and a dozen of the other I guess. If you're a baker that is. No, I won't mention names. I got better things to do than have someone plague him to find out how he did it and I'm sure he's got better things to do than act confused. He knows the drill. So do I. Only I tend to think that drills go wrong, so I'm slightly more careful. I'll throw it all out of the window eventually, I'm sure. I generally do.
I keep on breaking things recently. Everything from chairs to fridges to clothing. I managed to rip a seam in my trousers. Then I accidentally broke a chair (not permamently.. I can repair it... given three hours and a bit of brute force) and then I managed to break the (brand new) fridge. Always good I guess. Then there's a few other things that aren't quite so easy to replace. Trust... friendship... reputation... the normal sorts of things. I'll manage though. It's not like I had much of a reputation anyway!
Anyway, enough about me. I'm sure you've got better things to do than try and work out what I mean when I try to be clever (and occasionally suceed in confusing you, even if I'm not being all that clever... or subtle) so I thought I'd spend some time discussing the wonders of decision making. Yes... I'll mention myself again. It's not because I'm egocentric, but rather because no one ever tells me what THEY think. So I can't put them in. I do ask, but they run away and ignore the questions. Not looking at you Grace... don't be silly. Can't be that you've not actually answered any of the last 20 questions or so that I've asked you can it?
I digress.
Returning to the topic, I recently developed an interest in asking people several decision-making questions. Two, to be precise. So here they are.
1) You see on a traintrack, tied down, two people. Your best friend (or a friend, if you have no best friend.. or someone you care about if you have no friends because you are a loner) and a world-class scientist who will later develop a cure for cancer, which will eventually save millions. Who do you save? Why?
2) Your house is burning down (I came round and cooked you some beefburgers... if you know what I'm on about you might find it funny. Anyone got the marshmallows?) and you can save one thing. Your family, your pets and anything alive inside the house is already safe, so you can't choose them. You can choose anything whatsoever, but must give a reason for doing so.
Sooooo..... You guessed it. I'm going to tell you my answers and the reasons why I gave those answers. Blame Lu. Because it's fun and she'll get stressed at you and then you can wind her up about the science exams that we have in 4 days time (or something like that anyway). The time to shut up was 3 weeks ago Lu, so you may as well enjoy life whilst you can before your parents murder you for failing to get the magic star after the first letter of the alphabet that you're supposed to be getting.
To answer the questions, and give reasons for doing so, isn't quite as easy as I thought it would be. The answer was instinctive. Pinpointing why I would do that was slightly harder. It's not every day (unless you're me) that you not only question what you are going to do but also why you are going to do what you are doing, in terms of a moral choice at least. Nothing like searching for your own secret motives for doing something.
The first situation was fairly hard for me. For those that don't know, and to remind those that have forgotten, my mum died of cancer in October '08. So it's a little personal, and why I chose cancer when I designed the questions. If there had been a scientist tied down to the tracks a few years ago, I still think that my choice would have remained the same. I save the friend and let my conscience haunt me for killing the unspoken millions whom I could have saved. My friends are more important than they realise, for me at least.
Even though the choice, for me, could be boiled down to saving family against saving friends, I would save the friend first. Heart over mind in this case. The reason? Maybe the scientist is going to save millions, maybe he could even save someone close to me (or could have, at least). Maybe by saving my friend I've stopped cancer from ever being cured, but I couldn't live having knowingly killed my friend because I chose to save a complete stranger.
In the situation where everything you have done, and everything you are going to do, is meaningless it comes down to simply who you are. The harsh equality of both of them being in my power to kill as I wish, or as a byproduct of saving the other, brings it down to a more personal matter than thinking something along the lines of, 'hang ona minute... the guy with the nerdy look is going to save millions.. better rescue him instead of the friend.' Besides.... how would you explain that you'd killed your mate to their parents?
"I'm sorry.. I let him die because I wanted to save this random dude that got ushered away by the black limo as soon as he was off of the train track." is probably fairly close to what whatever you said boiled down to. Maybe they'd understand it, but I think that I would eventually end up either killing myself or living in constant depression. In fact, whatever my choice, I would be haunted by it for years. My conscience wouldn't accept saving only one, but my instinct wouldn't let me kill myself to save both.
Unlike Lu, who said that she'd save both at the cost of her own life but more like Tara who said that she'd save the friend. I think. I can't remember exactly. It was about midnight at the time, so my memory is less than good in reference to Tara. I'll double check tomorrow and possibly edit this to be correct before uploading. Or maybe not.. does it really matter?
The other question was slightly easier. Those things of sentimental value to me are mostly either inside my head or wandering about living and breathing. Memories and people are those things that are worth far more to me than sentimental possessions. There's absolutely nothing that springs up as something that I'd save. I'd get myself out and then cook marshmallows. Well, okay, maybe not the marshmallows, but I wouldn't cry because I'd lost my favourite cuddly toy or whatnot.
In fact, if I had to save something, I'd choose something either irreplacable (I have a few things which you can no longer buy from anywhere) or of sentimental value to my sister (the little one has lots of little things that she likes and would miss if they got burnt up.) My computer would maybe register as something to save, but it's all on the insurance and most of it is either backed-up or irrelevant. This laptop is more important as it has my diary on it, which isn't backed up online for security issues.
Heart says nothing, mind says this laptop. With charger, naturally. I need some way of turning the thing on!
What would you save? Got a favourite item that you couldn't live without? Something that you have to remember to pick up as you wander out of the door as well, don't forget. I, for instance, pick up my mobile without thinking about it now and often have to check that I did just pick it up and didn't imagine myself doing so.. whilst I'm holding it in my other hand.
Whilst we were on the topic of sentimentalism and memories, perhaps one of my most bittersweet memories is that of something my mum said to me in the October half-term, in what was to be perhaps her last conversation as mother/son alone with me, and what was to unforntunately be her last week of life. I was talking about all the people which were offering to help in some way (as they were aware of what was happening, and some of the stress that I was under sometimes) and how I thought that they couldn't really help all that much in the bigger scheme. I remember her smiling and telling me to tell the girls that I needed 'lots of kisses and hugs' and the boys to 'keep me distracted.'
I have my instructions.. perhaps I should live up to them. What a code that would be to live my life by.
Now, as I'm crying with the memory, I'll leave it here before I shortcircuit my laptop with the tears.
Which, I believe, would hurt... 230V of electricity shooting through my fingers would leave me numb for weeks!
They are, however, fully dressed. Much to a friends disappointment and much to my amusement at his disappointment. I was like 'Just what is happening here?!?' and the immediate (or nearly immediate) response was 'lesbian orgy!' or words to that effect. I was shocked. The person who said it will be pleased... she spent the best part of 2 hours trying to get me to be shocked once. I wasn't particulary shocked at the idea, nor that any of them were claiming to be lesbians (I know that most of them aren't), but rather I was shocked at the idea that they were putting photos of it up on facebook... when none of them have the camera.
Firstly, it means that there's a cameraman.. or camerawoman perhaps. That's just unfair. I wanna play too! Nah, only kidding, I don't. I would hate to disturb their lesbianity with my masculinity. Hehe. So that's six of them.
Secondly, it means that they want the world to know. So I'm telling the world. So now you all know.. I know people who pretend to be lesbians on their day off.. or should that be their night off? If you get what I mean...
I was also watching 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' (courtesy of youtube) which I quite enjoy. I don't know why. The sheer stupidity of it perhaps. Two Line Vocabulary is something that I'd love to do in real life... I might suggest it sometime. It'd be fun and funny and if you have to keep a straight face whilst doing it, probably impossible. And I'd forget my lines, but hey... I do that all the time!
Apparently life is a stage. Or something like that. The one thing I want to know is whose got the script. Telling me who the prompt is would be quite good as well. I tend to forget my lines, especially in the presence of certain people. Or should that be certain girls? Depends on your definition of person I suppose. It may not seem like much, but I sometimes wonder how the scene was supposed to play out had I not forgotten my lines and we hadn't all ended up ab libbing... to really take the metaphor further.
This doubt, this uncertainty, this goddamned confusion is awful. Scrap sleepness nights! It's more like thoughtful existence. And depressing. It's going nowhere, doing nothing and not looking like it's going to change as I regulary put it. People disagree, naturally, but yet again.. they aren't me. Some people see more than others I guess. Mostly girls, bizzarely enough. And I say mostly because there's one boy in the list of people that see more than I intend them to, whilst being correct.
Or he's just being himself and he's accidentally guessing at everything that no one else so far has really guessed at. Thirteen of one and a dozen of the other I guess. If you're a baker that is. No, I won't mention names. I got better things to do than have someone plague him to find out how he did it and I'm sure he's got better things to do than act confused. He knows the drill. So do I. Only I tend to think that drills go wrong, so I'm slightly more careful. I'll throw it all out of the window eventually, I'm sure. I generally do.
I keep on breaking things recently. Everything from chairs to fridges to clothing. I managed to rip a seam in my trousers. Then I accidentally broke a chair (not permamently.. I can repair it... given three hours and a bit of brute force) and then I managed to break the (brand new) fridge. Always good I guess. Then there's a few other things that aren't quite so easy to replace. Trust... friendship... reputation... the normal sorts of things. I'll manage though. It's not like I had much of a reputation anyway!
Anyway, enough about me. I'm sure you've got better things to do than try and work out what I mean when I try to be clever (and occasionally suceed in confusing you, even if I'm not being all that clever... or subtle) so I thought I'd spend some time discussing the wonders of decision making. Yes... I'll mention myself again. It's not because I'm egocentric, but rather because no one ever tells me what THEY think. So I can't put them in. I do ask, but they run away and ignore the questions. Not looking at you Grace... don't be silly. Can't be that you've not actually answered any of the last 20 questions or so that I've asked you can it?
I digress.
Returning to the topic, I recently developed an interest in asking people several decision-making questions. Two, to be precise. So here they are.
1) You see on a traintrack, tied down, two people. Your best friend (or a friend, if you have no best friend.. or someone you care about if you have no friends because you are a loner) and a world-class scientist who will later develop a cure for cancer, which will eventually save millions. Who do you save? Why?
2) Your house is burning down (I came round and cooked you some beefburgers... if you know what I'm on about you might find it funny. Anyone got the marshmallows?) and you can save one thing. Your family, your pets and anything alive inside the house is already safe, so you can't choose them. You can choose anything whatsoever, but must give a reason for doing so.
Sooooo..... You guessed it. I'm going to tell you my answers and the reasons why I gave those answers. Blame Lu. Because it's fun and she'll get stressed at you and then you can wind her up about the science exams that we have in 4 days time (or something like that anyway). The time to shut up was 3 weeks ago Lu, so you may as well enjoy life whilst you can before your parents murder you for failing to get the magic star after the first letter of the alphabet that you're supposed to be getting.
To answer the questions, and give reasons for doing so, isn't quite as easy as I thought it would be. The answer was instinctive. Pinpointing why I would do that was slightly harder. It's not every day (unless you're me) that you not only question what you are going to do but also why you are going to do what you are doing, in terms of a moral choice at least. Nothing like searching for your own secret motives for doing something.
The first situation was fairly hard for me. For those that don't know, and to remind those that have forgotten, my mum died of cancer in October '08. So it's a little personal, and why I chose cancer when I designed the questions. If there had been a scientist tied down to the tracks a few years ago, I still think that my choice would have remained the same. I save the friend and let my conscience haunt me for killing the unspoken millions whom I could have saved. My friends are more important than they realise, for me at least.
Even though the choice, for me, could be boiled down to saving family against saving friends, I would save the friend first. Heart over mind in this case. The reason? Maybe the scientist is going to save millions, maybe he could even save someone close to me (or could have, at least). Maybe by saving my friend I've stopped cancer from ever being cured, but I couldn't live having knowingly killed my friend because I chose to save a complete stranger.
In the situation where everything you have done, and everything you are going to do, is meaningless it comes down to simply who you are. The harsh equality of both of them being in my power to kill as I wish, or as a byproduct of saving the other, brings it down to a more personal matter than thinking something along the lines of, 'hang ona minute... the guy with the nerdy look is going to save millions.. better rescue him instead of the friend.' Besides.... how would you explain that you'd killed your mate to their parents?
"I'm sorry.. I let him die because I wanted to save this random dude that got ushered away by the black limo as soon as he was off of the train track." is probably fairly close to what whatever you said boiled down to. Maybe they'd understand it, but I think that I would eventually end up either killing myself or living in constant depression. In fact, whatever my choice, I would be haunted by it for years. My conscience wouldn't accept saving only one, but my instinct wouldn't let me kill myself to save both.
Unlike Lu, who said that she'd save both at the cost of her own life but more like Tara who said that she'd save the friend. I think. I can't remember exactly. It was about midnight at the time, so my memory is less than good in reference to Tara. I'll double check tomorrow and possibly edit this to be correct before uploading. Or maybe not.. does it really matter?
The other question was slightly easier. Those things of sentimental value to me are mostly either inside my head or wandering about living and breathing. Memories and people are those things that are worth far more to me than sentimental possessions. There's absolutely nothing that springs up as something that I'd save. I'd get myself out and then cook marshmallows. Well, okay, maybe not the marshmallows, but I wouldn't cry because I'd lost my favourite cuddly toy or whatnot.
In fact, if I had to save something, I'd choose something either irreplacable (I have a few things which you can no longer buy from anywhere) or of sentimental value to my sister (the little one has lots of little things that she likes and would miss if they got burnt up.) My computer would maybe register as something to save, but it's all on the insurance and most of it is either backed-up or irrelevant. This laptop is more important as it has my diary on it, which isn't backed up online for security issues.
Heart says nothing, mind says this laptop. With charger, naturally. I need some way of turning the thing on!
What would you save? Got a favourite item that you couldn't live without? Something that you have to remember to pick up as you wander out of the door as well, don't forget. I, for instance, pick up my mobile without thinking about it now and often have to check that I did just pick it up and didn't imagine myself doing so.. whilst I'm holding it in my other hand.
Whilst we were on the topic of sentimentalism and memories, perhaps one of my most bittersweet memories is that of something my mum said to me in the October half-term, in what was to be perhaps her last conversation as mother/son alone with me, and what was to unforntunately be her last week of life. I was talking about all the people which were offering to help in some way (as they were aware of what was happening, and some of the stress that I was under sometimes) and how I thought that they couldn't really help all that much in the bigger scheme. I remember her smiling and telling me to tell the girls that I needed 'lots of kisses and hugs' and the boys to 'keep me distracted.'
I have my instructions.. perhaps I should live up to them. What a code that would be to live my life by.
Now, as I'm crying with the memory, I'll leave it here before I shortcircuit my laptop with the tears.
Which, I believe, would hurt... 230V of electricity shooting through my fingers would leave me numb for weeks!
26th February: And that makes 295...
I can now count 295 kisses owed to me. Presuming that xxx is three kisses and that every subsequent x is an additional kiss. 286 from Gina, 6 from Lulu and 3 from Grace. I think I might start counting actually.. see how long it takes me to reach the 1000 mark. Maybe I'll get a medal then. Anyway, with all of these kisses stockpiled, I'm wondering if there's any boys that are wanting to trade. For 100 kisses I'm sure I could get at least some money. I don't think that the girls would be quite so happy about paying it to either me or anyone that I sell them to. Oh well... that's life for you I guess.
Not that I'm saying I want to collect them. Oh no... I wouldn't say that. Not until I'm a perfectly normal sane human being that has no idea to talk to the opposite species often called 'girls.'
And yes, I'm sorry for it. But you are alien I think. Nothing that similar could be any more different!
Not that you're a different species. Just alien. Strange. Unique. Attractive in some cases, but I'm not saying which.
Anyway, attention-grabbing techniques aside for the moment, I thought I'd tell you about a few things. As in.. play catch up. Have you ever heard of the Korean pianist named Yiruma? He's an awesome pianist, who writes beautiful music and it's Gina I have to thank for showing me him. She was sort of waving his name around in her screenname and so I immediately had to ask who he was.
Upon discovery that he was a piano-player-man I then went and found the particular piece of music that was being waved around and now love it. It's peaceful, it's beautiful and, most amusingly of all, seems to get crowds of girls invading the practice rooms whenever I play it at school. It's great fun! It was actually going to be in that Twilight film (which is awesome... get the DVD or go cinema or both. You'll probably like it) but I think it got cut because that scene didn't progress the story any futher. I don't know. Bella's Lullaby was the movie version. Go look it up and find out for me! Nothing like reader participation.
Another film which you need to see is 'Bolt.' It's about a hollywood star who escapes into the big bad world, discovers that he's not really a superhero, meets up with a few mates (who are awesome!) and tries to get back to hollywood. The best character? It's not 'Bolt' even though that's the dog that the film is about (did I mention that it was about a superDOG? It doesn't make it any less awesome though). It's Rhino.. the hamster in the plastic ball. Made me want a hamster actually, ubt I don't think that mine would be so cool, so I'll just forget it.
There's so much that you just have to forget.
I'm tired. That's it for today.
You can speculate on my meanings now! I know that you do really. Everyone does it. It's involuntary I reckon....
Not that I'm saying I want to collect them. Oh no... I wouldn't say that. Not until I'm a perfectly normal sane human being that has no idea to talk to the opposite species often called 'girls.'
And yes, I'm sorry for it. But you are alien I think. Nothing that similar could be any more different!
Not that you're a different species. Just alien. Strange. Unique. Attractive in some cases, but I'm not saying which.
Anyway, attention-grabbing techniques aside for the moment, I thought I'd tell you about a few things. As in.. play catch up. Have you ever heard of the Korean pianist named Yiruma? He's an awesome pianist, who writes beautiful music and it's Gina I have to thank for showing me him. She was sort of waving his name around in her screenname and so I immediately had to ask who he was.
Upon discovery that he was a piano-player-man I then went and found the particular piece of music that was being waved around and now love it. It's peaceful, it's beautiful and, most amusingly of all, seems to get crowds of girls invading the practice rooms whenever I play it at school. It's great fun! It was actually going to be in that Twilight film (which is awesome... get the DVD or go cinema or both. You'll probably like it) but I think it got cut because that scene didn't progress the story any futher. I don't know. Bella's Lullaby was the movie version. Go look it up and find out for me! Nothing like reader participation.
Another film which you need to see is 'Bolt.' It's about a hollywood star who escapes into the big bad world, discovers that he's not really a superhero, meets up with a few mates (who are awesome!) and tries to get back to hollywood. The best character? It's not 'Bolt' even though that's the dog that the film is about (did I mention that it was about a superDOG? It doesn't make it any less awesome though). It's Rhino.. the hamster in the plastic ball. Made me want a hamster actually, ubt I don't think that mine would be so cool, so I'll just forget it.
There's so much that you just have to forget.
I'm tired. That's it for today.
You can speculate on my meanings now! I know that you do really. Everyone does it. It's involuntary I reckon....
25th February: Blame Gina for this one....
It's the 25th of February. We've just had pancake day, there's 39 days till Easter and about the same length since I last sat down to start writing something other than ramblings or my diary. I suppose, in all honesty, that I could probably stick a date on a few things and pretend that I wrote them for the purpose of blogging, but the honest truth is that I would be lying. I wrote them because... well... I guess I wanted to. Like all the other things that I write and always probably will do so for writing.
If you're wondering either who Gina is, or why you have to blame her for yanking me back into the habits of blogging, then feel justified in doing so. I've never really introduced this new randomness to anyone, and she probably didn't really mean to start anything like this. But hey.. that's life. You should think more carefully about what you say to me. I might just take it literally and then you'll be buggered. No.. really!
You'll say something like 'ly xxx' and then I'll immediately think that you do love me and therefore I now have another three kisses to exchange for something. Hugs and kisses are my currency at the moment. Steph - can't remember if I ever introduced her either - currently owes me three hugs and no kisses (she's far too much of a tomboy to put 'xxx' at the end of a conversation) and some people are racking up the 'x's into triple figures which, should I ever attempt to collect on, would no doubt ensure that I spent a triple-figure length of time in jail.
To put those last two names (both female) in order that they appeared in the first three paragraphs of this, I guess it's time for more introductions. You know that you love them really, even if they are a little unflattering sometimes. At least they're honest.. which is more than I can say for most of the stuff I say about you, and everyone else, most of the time.
If you are either of those two and are actually bothering to read my blog then firstly.. go and get a life. Seriously. I write this for the fun of it. If you read it then I cannot be held responsible for any offence you take. I blame Gina, if you're Steph. I blame Steph, if you're Gina. It has to be their fault. No.. Really! Secondly.. it wasn't me that said it. Please believe me?
Let's first take Gina. Because I said I would. And because she's more likely to read it and if she isn't first then she'll murder me and I quite like my life the way it is. As in.. not ended. She's smallish, she's intelligentish and she's funnyish. That's an awful way of describing her really. So let's try to put it in a few more words than that. Firstly, she's the person that has the (possibly considered as) good luck, or (if you want to be slightly more honest) the bad luck to be sat behind me in English. She talks. Which is always fun I guess, but it means that I get yelled at for turning round when it's all her fault. Only it actually is this time.
She's also another musician person, which I guess means that on the 28th May I'll be finding her and squeezing her to death. It's my pregorative as a musician to hug other musicians on the 28th of May. I'll tell you why once I've finished these descriptions. If you can dignify them by calling them that. She was kind enough to send me some Yiruma youtube videos. And yes, I'll explain that in a second as well. Apart from that, and a few other things, I'm not really sure where to go with my description.
Oh yeah... as of about 20 minutes ago when she left the conversation she owes me 286 kisses. I wonder if I could get anything off of anyone or whether I can claim interest on them. That'd be interesting... at 3.5% interest daily - which is fair enough I think - I could have millions within a few weeks! Or something like that. She tends to get a little overenthusiastic. She's also the only person that uses the abreviated 'lyaf' thing that I made up to avoid having to reply 'ly' to all these girls that say it to me. Small things. Big difference.
So with 286 kisses in the offing from one conversation with Gina, I guess that I should probably admit that I'm sad enough to spend half an hour of my life actually bothering to count them. Draw what conclusions you will. Not like I could stop you. With that many from one girl, I'm beginning to wonder if it's worthwhile knowing anyone else. I mean.. if I could ever collect on all of these then I wouldn't NEED to collect on the hugs that I get from most normal, sane, people. And the insane ones too, after Charlotte at the park on snow days. Which I also need to blog about.
Anyway.. I know Steph. Who currently owes me 3 hugs, but like I said before, is too much of a tomboy to actually ever say 'xxx' at the end of a conversation. Besides, I might start keeping score of those as well and then I'd have to keep score of everyones... That'd be scary... But would make for a large number in the metaphorical bank account of intimacy. Or whatever it is that it's called. She's a little strange really. She likes anime, is obssessed with an anime character called L and is basically insane. Nothing new there in terms of my friends I guess.
When I say that she's obsessed, I mean a really unhealthy obsession, but not in the normal way that I do. Normally when I say someone has an unhealthy obsession with something it means that their obsession is perverted... like boys having an unhealthy interest in girls (ie. looking for free porn on t'internet.) Steph, to the best of my knowledge, however, does not imagine this 'L' being thing to be naked and doing all sorts of dirty deeds with her. I might be wrong.. maybe it's really hentai she's watching.
Hentai isn't porn! It's just dirty Anime.
If you get that, and know what I'm talking about, then you either have a good memory or are recording my old screen names somewhere. Go Nightrise! Hehe. And there's about 20 people in the world who will get that and maybe 3 of them will remember it properly. And why the name Nightrise is so amusing. It only took us two months and about twenty names to decide on Nightrise I suppose. It wasn't even my suggestion, which is quite nice. Always good to plagairise something else.
We had a twenty minute talk about plagarising yesterday. About how we shouldn't do it in our exams, and how copying other people's ideas was a crime and how intellectual property can still be nicked. I'm wondering if it's possible to steal a brain, like Rimmer does in Red Dwarf when he's wanting to get onto the Holoship. Well, okay, I don't fancy being turned into some nerd with an IQ at least three times higher than mine but being on that holoship does sort of have it's attractions.
Yet again, being forced to have sex 3 times a day would be so humiliating. It's degrading, in my opinion. An awful lot of things are degrading in my opinion actually, not just sexual depravities. All sorts of nasty habits and nastier nasty habits and.... nastier nasty nasty habits. My imagination at this time of nearly morning isn't the best. nor is my grammer, my spleling, ym cxinoewgwbaucwbwaa.
And you really have no idea how hard I found that. OCD moment I guess. I'm not quite a grammar nazi, or a spelling nazi, but I do insist on my spelling and grammar being mostly correct, or at least being used to good effect. Or.. if I'm being pedantic.. being used in such a way that it might, in some dimension or parallel universe, be correct. This universe is, afterall, only one of trillions. Wth trillions being a relatively small number comparative to the real one, which increases expoentially and has done since primordal chaos exploded at twice the speed of light sixty billion years ago. Give or take a few. There wasn't really any scientists around to take measurements so it's all just guess work.
One thing that always got me is that they universe is expanding at approximately the speed of light. It's slowing down a bit, but it's still going pretty damn fast. And so, if we're travelling as fast as we see, are we therefore not actually seeing what we should be seeing but something entirely different that isn't really what is happening but something else that may possibly happen? If that makes sense. If not, I suppose it needs a little clarification... not least because I don't entirely understand the long sentence either.
If the universe is expanding outwards at the speed of light, how can we see anything (in astronomical terms) anyway? Surely we're running away from the light as fast as it's catching up with us, so the sky should never change. The fact it does it probably down to relativity and the relative speed and velocity of the stars as compared to us, which works out at slightly less than the speed of light allowing us to see them, even if it is 5000 or so years late getting here.
Whilst I'm thinking about it, logically we do not see the present at all. We live, almost literally, in the past. It's a few microseconds, to be sure, but it's still not the present. Therefore, if something were to happen in those microseconds that we needed to react to instantaneously (preusming, of course, that our reactions were instaneous and not actually 0.15 seconds or whatever they are) then by the time that we saw it, we'd already be dead.
It's a good excuse as to why you don't catch things. You can claim that, for a moment, light slowed down to allow the ball to overtake it just for the purpose of hitting you in the head and injuring you. Light, afterall, is angry of being used by you to see other people (and stare after them longingly in some cases) and therefore is allowing someone else to hit you. The fact that you were actually staring longingly after someone instead of paying attention has nothing to do with the fact that you got hit. It has to be the light. It can't be your fault.. oh no.
That last sentence applies especially if you're a girl. Girls, for the most part, insist that firstly they are never wrong and secondly that they are never to blame. Therefore it follows, according to their warped logic, that boys are always wrong and always to blame. I take exception to this, and insist that if boys are required to be always wrong and always to blame I would rather not be a boy. Can I be a man at least? At least then I can blame women drivers... bloody women can't even get above 100 on a motorway. Speed limits are there to be broken!
On the subject of motorways, I always thought that the sign 'tiredness kills' is a little stupid. I mean.. by the time you're that tired then you're not going to be in a fit state to be reading a sign. People that are asleep at the wheel can't read the sign whilst snoring their passengers to death... probably literally, as they're on a motorway. It brings an entire new meaning to that phrase doesn't it.
Scaring someone to death is also possible by the way. If someone is a flincher, get them to hang off of a pole hundreds of storeys up and then jump out and scare them. They flinch, put their arms up to defend themselves and suddenly defending themselves is the least of their problems. As it'd make a good film, they'll then survive - without any serious injuries, as they're trying to make it a PG not an 18 - pull out two machine guns and gun down the agents who are trying to take them down before escaping into the metaphorical sunset in a car which has cool powers.
Like turning invisible... although getting insurance for that car would be hell.
"I'd like insurance for my car please."
"What car?"
*A Renault drives in to try and get insurance, hits the invisible car and crumples.*
"Erm.. it doesn't matter. I'm off.. bye.."
And staying in a parking space would be awful as well... everyone would try to nick it and you'd come back to find that you'd started a new scrapyard in what used to be a carpark. It's a good money making idea, if you could create enough invisible cars to make it profitable. Mass Production is always cheaper.
I was going to explain a bunch of stuff, but to get me to carry on writing blogs I'll leave it till tomorrow. You're all doomed.. more blogs on the way. Blame Gina. It's a really good idea! I'll even introduce you, because she gets stressed when irritated. Yet again.... Gina being stressed could be a little suicidal for me. I'll think about it.
Ciao! Seyanora! Or however it is that you spell the Japanese word for 'goodbye...'
I don't even know if it is Japanese. It's probably Malaysian or something.
American perhaps? They have all sorts of silly phrases........
If you're wondering either who Gina is, or why you have to blame her for yanking me back into the habits of blogging, then feel justified in doing so. I've never really introduced this new randomness to anyone, and she probably didn't really mean to start anything like this. But hey.. that's life. You should think more carefully about what you say to me. I might just take it literally and then you'll be buggered. No.. really!
You'll say something like 'ly xxx' and then I'll immediately think that you do love me and therefore I now have another three kisses to exchange for something. Hugs and kisses are my currency at the moment. Steph - can't remember if I ever introduced her either - currently owes me three hugs and no kisses (she's far too much of a tomboy to put 'xxx' at the end of a conversation) and some people are racking up the 'x's into triple figures which, should I ever attempt to collect on, would no doubt ensure that I spent a triple-figure length of time in jail.
To put those last two names (both female) in order that they appeared in the first three paragraphs of this, I guess it's time for more introductions. You know that you love them really, even if they are a little unflattering sometimes. At least they're honest.. which is more than I can say for most of the stuff I say about you, and everyone else, most of the time.
If you are either of those two and are actually bothering to read my blog then firstly.. go and get a life. Seriously. I write this for the fun of it. If you read it then I cannot be held responsible for any offence you take. I blame Gina, if you're Steph. I blame Steph, if you're Gina. It has to be their fault. No.. Really! Secondly.. it wasn't me that said it. Please believe me?
Let's first take Gina. Because I said I would. And because she's more likely to read it and if she isn't first then she'll murder me and I quite like my life the way it is. As in.. not ended. She's smallish, she's intelligentish and she's funnyish. That's an awful way of describing her really. So let's try to put it in a few more words than that. Firstly, she's the person that has the (possibly considered as) good luck, or (if you want to be slightly more honest) the bad luck to be sat behind me in English. She talks. Which is always fun I guess, but it means that I get yelled at for turning round when it's all her fault. Only it actually is this time.
She's also another musician person, which I guess means that on the 28th May I'll be finding her and squeezing her to death. It's my pregorative as a musician to hug other musicians on the 28th of May. I'll tell you why once I've finished these descriptions. If you can dignify them by calling them that. She was kind enough to send me some Yiruma youtube videos. And yes, I'll explain that in a second as well. Apart from that, and a few other things, I'm not really sure where to go with my description.
Oh yeah... as of about 20 minutes ago when she left the conversation she owes me 286 kisses. I wonder if I could get anything off of anyone or whether I can claim interest on them. That'd be interesting... at 3.5% interest daily - which is fair enough I think - I could have millions within a few weeks! Or something like that. She tends to get a little overenthusiastic. She's also the only person that uses the abreviated 'lyaf' thing that I made up to avoid having to reply 'ly' to all these girls that say it to me. Small things. Big difference.
So with 286 kisses in the offing from one conversation with Gina, I guess that I should probably admit that I'm sad enough to spend half an hour of my life actually bothering to count them. Draw what conclusions you will. Not like I could stop you. With that many from one girl, I'm beginning to wonder if it's worthwhile knowing anyone else. I mean.. if I could ever collect on all of these then I wouldn't NEED to collect on the hugs that I get from most normal, sane, people. And the insane ones too, after Charlotte at the park on snow days. Which I also need to blog about.
Anyway.. I know Steph. Who currently owes me 3 hugs, but like I said before, is too much of a tomboy to actually ever say 'xxx' at the end of a conversation. Besides, I might start keeping score of those as well and then I'd have to keep score of everyones... That'd be scary... But would make for a large number in the metaphorical bank account of intimacy. Or whatever it is that it's called. She's a little strange really. She likes anime, is obssessed with an anime character called L and is basically insane. Nothing new there in terms of my friends I guess.
When I say that she's obsessed, I mean a really unhealthy obsession, but not in the normal way that I do. Normally when I say someone has an unhealthy obsession with something it means that their obsession is perverted... like boys having an unhealthy interest in girls (ie. looking for free porn on t'internet.) Steph, to the best of my knowledge, however, does not imagine this 'L' being thing to be naked and doing all sorts of dirty deeds with her. I might be wrong.. maybe it's really hentai she's watching.
Hentai isn't porn! It's just dirty Anime.
If you get that, and know what I'm talking about, then you either have a good memory or are recording my old screen names somewhere. Go Nightrise! Hehe. And there's about 20 people in the world who will get that and maybe 3 of them will remember it properly. And why the name Nightrise is so amusing. It only took us two months and about twenty names to decide on Nightrise I suppose. It wasn't even my suggestion, which is quite nice. Always good to plagairise something else.
We had a twenty minute talk about plagarising yesterday. About how we shouldn't do it in our exams, and how copying other people's ideas was a crime and how intellectual property can still be nicked. I'm wondering if it's possible to steal a brain, like Rimmer does in Red Dwarf when he's wanting to get onto the Holoship. Well, okay, I don't fancy being turned into some nerd with an IQ at least three times higher than mine but being on that holoship does sort of have it's attractions.
Yet again, being forced to have sex 3 times a day would be so humiliating. It's degrading, in my opinion. An awful lot of things are degrading in my opinion actually, not just sexual depravities. All sorts of nasty habits and nastier nasty habits and.... nastier nasty nasty habits. My imagination at this time of nearly morning isn't the best. nor is my grammer, my spleling, ym cxinoewgwbaucwbwaa.
And you really have no idea how hard I found that. OCD moment I guess. I'm not quite a grammar nazi, or a spelling nazi, but I do insist on my spelling and grammar being mostly correct, or at least being used to good effect. Or.. if I'm being pedantic.. being used in such a way that it might, in some dimension or parallel universe, be correct. This universe is, afterall, only one of trillions. Wth trillions being a relatively small number comparative to the real one, which increases expoentially and has done since primordal chaos exploded at twice the speed of light sixty billion years ago. Give or take a few. There wasn't really any scientists around to take measurements so it's all just guess work.
One thing that always got me is that they universe is expanding at approximately the speed of light. It's slowing down a bit, but it's still going pretty damn fast. And so, if we're travelling as fast as we see, are we therefore not actually seeing what we should be seeing but something entirely different that isn't really what is happening but something else that may possibly happen? If that makes sense. If not, I suppose it needs a little clarification... not least because I don't entirely understand the long sentence either.
If the universe is expanding outwards at the speed of light, how can we see anything (in astronomical terms) anyway? Surely we're running away from the light as fast as it's catching up with us, so the sky should never change. The fact it does it probably down to relativity and the relative speed and velocity of the stars as compared to us, which works out at slightly less than the speed of light allowing us to see them, even if it is 5000 or so years late getting here.
Whilst I'm thinking about it, logically we do not see the present at all. We live, almost literally, in the past. It's a few microseconds, to be sure, but it's still not the present. Therefore, if something were to happen in those microseconds that we needed to react to instantaneously (preusming, of course, that our reactions were instaneous and not actually 0.15 seconds or whatever they are) then by the time that we saw it, we'd already be dead.
It's a good excuse as to why you don't catch things. You can claim that, for a moment, light slowed down to allow the ball to overtake it just for the purpose of hitting you in the head and injuring you. Light, afterall, is angry of being used by you to see other people (and stare after them longingly in some cases) and therefore is allowing someone else to hit you. The fact that you were actually staring longingly after someone instead of paying attention has nothing to do with the fact that you got hit. It has to be the light. It can't be your fault.. oh no.
That last sentence applies especially if you're a girl. Girls, for the most part, insist that firstly they are never wrong and secondly that they are never to blame. Therefore it follows, according to their warped logic, that boys are always wrong and always to blame. I take exception to this, and insist that if boys are required to be always wrong and always to blame I would rather not be a boy. Can I be a man at least? At least then I can blame women drivers... bloody women can't even get above 100 on a motorway. Speed limits are there to be broken!
On the subject of motorways, I always thought that the sign 'tiredness kills' is a little stupid. I mean.. by the time you're that tired then you're not going to be in a fit state to be reading a sign. People that are asleep at the wheel can't read the sign whilst snoring their passengers to death... probably literally, as they're on a motorway. It brings an entire new meaning to that phrase doesn't it.
Scaring someone to death is also possible by the way. If someone is a flincher, get them to hang off of a pole hundreds of storeys up and then jump out and scare them. They flinch, put their arms up to defend themselves and suddenly defending themselves is the least of their problems. As it'd make a good film, they'll then survive - without any serious injuries, as they're trying to make it a PG not an 18 - pull out two machine guns and gun down the agents who are trying to take them down before escaping into the metaphorical sunset in a car which has cool powers.
Like turning invisible... although getting insurance for that car would be hell.
"I'd like insurance for my car please."
"What car?"
*A Renault drives in to try and get insurance, hits the invisible car and crumples.*
"Erm.. it doesn't matter. I'm off.. bye.."
And staying in a parking space would be awful as well... everyone would try to nick it and you'd come back to find that you'd started a new scrapyard in what used to be a carpark. It's a good money making idea, if you could create enough invisible cars to make it profitable. Mass Production is always cheaper.
I was going to explain a bunch of stuff, but to get me to carry on writing blogs I'll leave it till tomorrow. You're all doomed.. more blogs on the way. Blame Gina. It's a really good idea! I'll even introduce you, because she gets stressed when irritated. Yet again.... Gina being stressed could be a little suicidal for me. I'll think about it.
Ciao! Seyanora! Or however it is that you spell the Japanese word for 'goodbye...'
I don't even know if it is Japanese. It's probably Malaysian or something.
American perhaps? They have all sorts of silly phrases........
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